artwork by Henrik Aarrestad Uldalen
Trauma and change, to me, are directly linked. If you can accept that you’re going to come out of it as a different person, then you can see to it that you become the person you want to be. The last place anyone wants to be is as a victim and so I’ve learned that you can twist your fate and become empowered by it. The way to do it is the same as “goal setting”, you see a goal and you figure out the necessary steps to get to that goal. You should do your pros and cons list before doing this, but chances are, when you’re in this victimized state, you’re going to feel like you have nothing to lose. Which isn’t true, but it’s important to hold on to that feeling, because it’s that sort of attitude that helps you in achieving your goals.
If you can help it, take a step back and breathe. In a victimized state, your emotions over power your rationale. Coming to any sort of justifiable solutions could end up being catastrophic if you’re not able to see clearly. This is where meditative techniques become very useful, but there are many webpages that cover this, so I’m not going to go into depth about the various techniques. What I am willing to say, however, is that a traumatic event is also an opportunity for that metamorphosis that you’ve been looking for. The tragic part of this is that it will happen whether or not you want it to. It’s simply a choice of directing where it goes and how it happens. The biggest problem that I’ve noticed is just deciding where the change will go. The best course of action I can recommend is that you figure out who you are and then find the route you think is better suited to you.
If you’re like me, the path to self discovery is never ending but always worth searching for.